How You Can Be Compassion


Recently I spoke on a panel about the new book “In Our Own Words.”  Several people asked if I my speech would be available so here it is!

When I was about to be received as a candidate Sister Elaine, my dear friend and mentor, told me to “rock the boat.”  I laughed off this advice at the time, but I think of her words fondly now as I consider the importance of our counter cultural witness as women religious.  We live in the world, but are not of it (in 17:16).  Our world today moves fast, is chaotic, troubled, and yet holds great potential for the future.  This is the world in which we live our vowed life, minister, pray, and love as Jesus loved.  Jesus’ example calls us to follow him in his compassionate stance.  Perhaps we would have wished for something simpler, calmer, easier; but this time is also a gift and as sisters we are impelled to answer the needs of our time.

When I think of the needs of our time I think of our many diverse ministries as women religious, and I think of some of my friends who have been arrested at social justice protests.  I also think of a moment at my community’s chapter when we took some time for personal reflection.  Many of us went outside to the hotel’s patio to enjoy the nice weather as we prayed.  People passed by on the sidewalk and a few stared at us as we sat prayerfully.  A couple of people even stopped to ask what we were doing and who we were because they were so struck by our contemplative sitting.  This prophetic moment was unplanned and unintentional, yet something about our way of being as a religious community answered an unnamed need in the passers-by.

There are many needs which call us in our world today.  Yet, whatever our ministry, compassion is paramount.  We follow Jesus’s example in our expression of compassion.

31284970_1905721572795033_1844834392325750784_oJesus was a teacher, a healer, a miracle worker but these mighty deeds and profound teachings do not over shadow the moments of compassion which punctuated his day.  The stories of  Zacchaeus, the woman at the well, “Peter do you love me”.  These stories are just some of the moments when Jesus was simply present, and his gift of presence was all the healing that was needed.

Being present isn’t that easy, especially with the pace of our world.  In a news cycle that never stops, when tragedy follows tragedy, when our phones are ringing, and our inbox is full it is hard to stop and be fully present to another person.  We all know how hard it is to connect with someone while one, or both, are multi-tasking.  Our world praises this behavior, people put multi-tasking on their resumes, but somehow I don’t think Zacchaeus would have turned his life around if Jesus had been texting a disciple during their encounter.  So, like Jesus, we have to put aside the world’s priorities and do things a little different.

As women religious we make time for community, prayer, and meditation.  These are all lifestyle choices which help us to live contemplatively even in a busy world.  As we minister and live in this contemplative stance we can hold each of our encounters in our inner quiet.  We behold God’s wonderful creations and with God we too can say that they are good (Gn1:31).  We meet all sorts of people in our day: the good, the bad, the ugly…..politicians; and each one is a theotokos carrying the Divine into the world. Holding each encounter in the silence of our hearts and seeing the Divine in the other is one way we  live into the sacramentality of each life in creation.

This call to sacramentality in everyday life reminds me of a prayer I came across during my research for this chapter.  Julie Collins writes that when we encounter a person we can ask God to help us see the true inner-self within them.  This can be a helpful prayer practice for getting to know someone dear, or someone difficult.  Collins suggests asking God for the grace to see with God’s own eyes so we may better know and be with the other.  I connect this to the traditional Hindi greeting, “namasté.”  This greeting, which means ‘the Divine in me recognizes the Divine in you,’ reminds me that God dwells in the inner space of each person, an indeed in all of creation.

Like many people I often struggle to see God in myself.  It is hard for me to recognize the Divine within.   Yet, the more time I spend with God the more God reminds me  that God dwells deeply within me. Learning to go into our inner space and find the Divine within is a life long practice of incorporating our vulnerability.  As women religious vulnerability is an important skill because we must be authentic to ourselves and our community’s charism if we hope to teach the world to be compassionate, but in order to be open and vulnerable we must be in touch with how God sees us.

Steeping ourselves in God’s loving gaze gives us the courage to bring our authentic selves into our lives and ministries.  We can be a living example for others of a compassionate way of life if we know ourselves to be Beloved of God.  Henri Nouwen writes in his book Life of the Beloved that we have each been “seen by God from all eternity and seen as unique, special, precious beings.”  If we spend the time with God to drink this into our heart of hearts then we can carry this reality within ourselves in everything we do, and thus model a culture of loving compassion.

Any one person could go on this journey, in fact God calls all people to know that they are God’s beloved.  However, women religious get to focus more on spiritually than the average person, and we have the incredible gift of our corporate reality.  I don’t mean corporate in the business sense but rather as Sandra Schneiders uses the idea when she identifies women religious as “one organic life form” in her essay Tasks of Those who Choose the Prophetic Lifestyle.  Sandra points our that our shared history, lifestyle choices, and public vows unite us in the world as a prophetic presence.  Together we have a prophetic voice.  We can use this voice to share and model God’s love and compassion to a world in need.

And the world needs compassion, but even more it needs sisters to prove that there is another way to live.  God opens this compassionate life to all but few are taught how to enter into it in today’s society.  We have been given the gifts needed to do this, and as we walk into the future of religious life we can lead the way for so many others.


Finding God Within

dbf30df3dd3e44bf6050bcff29e04b25I once read that coming to knowing God is like walking around a sculpture. A photo of a sculpture cannot provide the same depth as seeing a sculpture in person where you can walk around it and see it in new light. Each vantage point provides new understanding. So it is with my relationship with God. The more I experience of life and creation the better I know my Beloved God.

One area in which I struggle to know God is within myself. While I believe God dwells in me deeply it is hard to be present to this communion with my God on a daily basis. I try to reflect on this during my early morning commute. My long drive gives me plenty of time to pray about the previous day and reflect on where I have noticed or missed God. I do this almost every workday yet I can rarely say I noticed God in myself. I’m sure many people share this experience . It is easy to see God in the good, beautiful, and meaningful events of my day but not so simple to see God in the ordinary such as myself. This may be in part because we often hear God discussed as out there or, more commonly, up there. Another road block for some is the common masculine metaphor we usually use to describe God. Yet any image we may come up with for God is just that, an image. It is hard to wrap our minds and hearts around our God, Creator and Mystery, so it is only natural to develop metaphors which describe some aspect of God.

I have found the female metaphors for God to be very helpful for me. Some familiar feminine Biblical images for God include: mother, hen, the woman with a lost coin, and Sophia. It is easier to see God’s movement within me when I can imagine God as She. This was reinforced for me at a recent new member workshop with my community. We spent the weekend studying feminist theology. We covered several key topics from feminism to some theological writings. We also had sometime for reflection. One such opportunity during this weekend was time to reflect on ourselves as images of God.

During this prayer period I recalled the words of a theologian who wrote, “God is not beside me but dwelling deeply within me.” I can’t recall who wrote this but it has stuck with me for sometime as a strong reminder of the deep communion God maintains with God’s own creation. This weekend workshop reminded me that this relationship isn’t anything I need to earn. We are all inherently worthy and loved by our God. We are all made in God’s own image. We are all made in love and for no other purpose than to be with God who is present in all creation, including myself.


A New Chapter

You may have noticed the new title to my blog, “Stainless Steel Sister”.  You are still in the right spot!  The pirate chapter has closed, and I have taken the page formally entitled “I’m a Pirate After All” down.  I am very fond of the pirate metaphor so it is posted one final time below just in case you missed it.

I always thought I was going to get married.  That’s not how most people would think discerning religious life would start, but that’s how my journey began.  I was in high school when a teacher, who was discerning the diaconate, planted the first seed when he said, “If you’ve ever ruled something out, just keep it on the back burner.”  I have no idea why I took this to heart except that it must have been an act of God because once I’ve made up my mind I can be kind of stubborn.  Fortunately, God kept nudging me and throughout college I began to slowly move toward the Sisters of Mercy although I didn’t know it at the time.

I wish my decision to pursue religious life was a single moment that I could describe to you but I grew into it, or maybe it would be more accurate to say it grew into me.  Either way it was a gradual process that was helped significantly by a group of students I met with in college.  We gathered together often and simply shared what was on our minds; the things that scared us, and the things that made us so excited for whatever God had planned for us!  I never knew I could feel both of those things at the same time and it was so much easier to be with people who were figuring this out as they went along just like I was.

It was during this time that I went on Mercy Challenge with others who were thinking about joining Mercy.  We spent the week in service to the poor of Sacramento, but the memory that sticks with me the most had nothing to do with that.  My vocation minister happened to be on this trip and one day she was showing me around the mother house when we happened upon an elderly sister who was lost.  She couldn’t remember where her room was, and seeing the care that my minister had for this sister that she had never met before has always stuck with me as a true example of what it means to be a sister, and to be merciful.

As I spent more time with the Sisters of Mercy the feeling of coming home became undeniable for me. The love and support I have received as I transitioned into community life, ministered as a chef at the local soup kitchen, and navigated the last few years has made me realize how wonderful and strong this family of women is. Now, as I look forward to the novitiate I value that support more than ever.

I have decided to start this blog to share my story, however strange and grammatically incorrect it maybe, in the hope that someone will find my experiences, and mistakes helpful in their own journey.  Oh, and the pirate thing… well I’ve always liked the sense of adventure and the desire to be counter cultural which just happen to be two attributes I see in religious life.  Not to mention the great hats!

Becoming Positive

IMG_2644Today I finally worked up the courage to sign up for the Closer to Free ride.  In September I’ll be riding my bike 100 miles to raise money for cancer research and care.  I’ve never done anything like this before and I’m surprised at how nervous I was just to take the first step into this large endeavor.

Part of the reason I hesitated is because it’s still hard for me to talk about how cancer has touched my life.  I’ve lost three grandparents to cancer, two other relatives are survivors, and one friend is currently fighting a battle with cancer.  All in all I’ve felt powerless to help my loved ones and their caretakers, so when I saw this opportunity to participate in Closer to Free it felt like I finally found something I could do to help others who have been through this.

IMG_0405A bike ride is also somewhat symbolic for me because riding my bike is one of the places I feel most quiet, mindful, and free.  I often imagine God riding along with me in the silence, and the longer the ride the easier this becomes so 100 miles should be beautiful.  This is also an opportunity for me to take my personal loss and turn it into something positive and life giving.  I’m looking forward to riding with a team, aptly named “Live Positive”, and I’m excited to be able to share this experience with other riders.

Please cheer me on, and support me with your prayers.  If you are interested you can donate to Closer to Free through this link:

New Decade, New Life

 I just recently turned thirty, and as I begin this fourth decade of my life, as well as a new ministry, my family is also blessed with a new spark of life.  That’s right, future aunt right here!  To celebrate my birthday, and this tiny new member of our family, my sister and I went to the Magic Kingdom!  I had been so freaked about turning 30, my mind was full of thoughts of saying goodbye to young adulthood, so we thought it would be best to go all out and really celebrate this big milestone as I transition into full-blown adulthood, and what better place to celebrate than Disney.

Celebrating is what I love most about birthdays, marking the end of a year completed and seeing how far I’ve come, especially on this occasion because thirty is the last big milestone birthday for awhile.  In retrospect I suppose I didn’t need to be so worried, after all a milestone is something we’ve invented as a society.  I will continue to grow and be myself whether  I’m 20 something or 50 something; it’s not like I woke up on my birthday a new and different person from the day before. Everyday I continue to evolve, as a sister-friend of mine noted just the other day as she recalled some of my first incorporation interviews into the Sisters of Mercy. I am a much different person than I was five years ago when I began this journey, but of course not all of that growth happened overnight.  Every year has been filled with a deepening of my self understanding as I am shaped by the course of my life.   In just this past year I have gone through a lot of changes: I lived in three different states with three different groups of sisters, and participated in three different ministries.  These events, just as with all events big and small, have shaped me and helped me to grow and mature.  I’ve faced challenges and overcame them, gone out of my comfort zone, been touched by the depth of relationships in both community and ministry.  These are all milestones in and of themselves and each moment deserves to be celebrated because I am grateful for who I am becoming on the journey.

I look forward now to the continuing journey, and though it’s impossible to tell what will happen or how events and encounters will change me, I trust that God has a desire for my growth.  I am still confirmed by the quote I chose to begin this blog five years ago: “I know the plans I have for you, plans for good…to give you a future with hope.” (Jer 29:11).  No matter how old I get I’ll never really know where this life of mine is going, but I will continue to trust that I have a future full of hope.


What Is Your Story?

Network Rally at the start of Lobby Day.

I’m not familiar with politics or the processes that make our country function, nonetheless I arrived in D.C. the other day to join the Nuns on the Bus from Network for their first lobby day.  Joining other sisters from around the country to talk to our representatives about the next budget and future tax reform was a very new experience and a little bewildering.  As we gathered for prayer and training I found myself immersed in acronyms and jargon, like sequestration, and some of it sounded a bit foreign to me.  Fortunately for this mission work, as Sr. Simone called it, knowing the ins and outs of politics was not paramount, instead our focus was to share the stories from the front lines and give names and faces to the people directly affected by these policies.  From the soup kitchen I shared my relationship with one man who, once he was supported by a case worker, was able to get into permanent housing and gain access to the services he needed.  Through public human needs programs this man gained stability in his life and no longer used about a million dollars worth of emergency services annually.  Meeting people like this in my ministry experiences has helped me to see the value of investing in our neighbors through programs because everyone deserves a dignified life, and it is better for the community in the long run.

I was surprised yesterday at the positive reception we received as we bounced from office to office.  A few people we met with made a point of saying just how much it mattered when constituents came to visit, as well as the importance of writing or calling about issues.  I was surprised to know that calls and letters were tallied and thus added weight to the decisions being made.  I guess I have more of a voice in politics than I ever thought.

My experience this week reminded me of the story of Jesus placing a child in the midst of his disciples (MT 18:2-5).  A child in that context was a silent and invisible member of society.  Like Jesus we have the power to place the silenced and invisible persons we know into the spotlight hopefully highlighting the issues in our communities which should not be ignored.  After what I’ve learned and experienced this week I think I’ll feel much more comfortable and empowered to call my representative when I am next called upon to reach out to my representatives.  I’ve got plenty of stories to share.  How about you?


What are young nuns up to?

Right now I’m at the Giving Voice conference, a gathering of women religious under the age of fifty.  We are here gathering our dreams and hopes for our future as we give special consideration to the issues of border crossing and our growing multi-cultural reality.  A few of us, myself included, are blogging daily on the Giving Voice blog.  Follow us on this journey at  Stay tuned for all the new and exciting thins we are dreaming of!

Here are two that I wrote: “We are Grassroots“, and “Together Sharing One Dream

What is Important in Ministry: Presence and Commitment to Gifts

Sr Eileen- Street MinistryPresence, I have come to see, is one of the most important parts of any ministry but maybe more so in the context of a life of ministry. My order takes a fourth vow of service in addition to the traditional three vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience so getting a handle on this idea of presence in ministry has become an interest for me as I prepare to make my first vows. I’ll be making my first vows in just two short months and in between now and then I’ll be visiting a number of Mercy ministries which exhibit a commitment to the marginalized members of society. So far I have visited six ministries: two shelters, two soup kitchens, one eco-spirituality center, and a street ministry. The ministry of presence was one of the things I noticed as a common thread throughout all of these encounters.

Sr BethIt seems to me that this ministry of presence is a compassionate stance taken with those being served, and one of the unexpected- though perhaps hoped for- ‘side-effects’ of this is that the minister is ministered to in return. As I have visited and worked with Sisters and Mercy Volunteer Corp members I have witnessed this open stance and it has been humbling.  It has been a gift to be accepted and trusted when I show up as a stranger at a ministry site simply by being associated with the Mercy presence already established there. I was impressed by this in Bridgeport where I was welcomed wherever I went because I was with Sister Eileen. The openness of the women at Catherine’s place who were willing to share their stories and concerns with me simply because I came with Sister Beth, who has worked to gain the trust of the residents, touched me also. It says so much about the quality of presence of the Sisters who work in these ministries and have spent so much time building these trusting relationships with the people they serve.

Mercy FarmI found this ministry of presence to be an unexpected gift as I volunteered at Mercy Farm where I spent a few days cooking for and with a group of students on an immersion trip. It can be hard to see the things we always do as gifts, and for me that would be cooking, so I was pleasantly surprised and grateful when I read the evaluations and found how meaningful the time spent in the kitchen had been for some of the students on the trip. I was glad that they all enjoyed the food and ate well, but I was grateful because I was in some way able to be a positive presence in that ministry. I was also able to see some of my growth in this area because not too long ago I would have been shy and reserved and now, as I have grown in confidence, I was able to engage these students in a way which was more dynamic and open to their input. I guess I’ve got Fr. Anthony Gittins to thank for that since his expertise in the area of ministry has helped to shape my understanding of ministry. My next few ministry trips will be more like tours than service opportunities so I will have to pay attention to how I can continue to grow in this ministry of presence.

A Nun’s Life: Your Questions Answered

I am so overwhelmed and grateful for everyone’s positive feedback after the podcast on A Nun’s Life!  Thank you to everyone who listened and chatted live.  It was nerve-wracking as we set up for the event, and then waited for five o’clock to roll around.  It was well worth it though to be part of such a wonderful conversation and such a meaningful ministry.  If you missed the live broadcast you can find the audio archived here.

After doing something that is out of my comfort zone, public speaking for example, I have found a time of reflection to be a very helpful tool which helps me touch into what was so important about the experience.  I wrote about preparing for the podcast on the Official Mercy Blog and taking the time to think over everything has affirmed my desire to be a part of this wonderful Mercy adventure.  I was so happy to have had a chance to share what has brought me to this moment in my life.  It’s been a crazy journey but as I have been often told, “God draws straight with crooked lines.”  At this point in my life I can attest to that, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

How Do You Feel?

cc9b6d78fba04800e92369ea9ba12125 True empathy creates strength in a way that moral outrage and pity cannot, according to Joan Halifax on TED. Strength grown out of the connections formed through empathy is the strength to be present in the suffering of others, to know we are connected with others, and still stand strong “with softness in the moment.” Joan also says, “We cannot be attached to outcome” which sheds a lot of light on my situation in ministry. There are precious few measurable goals when it comes to influencing a young person’s life, especially since I will only be here for a grand total of six months, so I cannot be attached to any outcome of my ministry at Mercy High; all I can be is present and a presence in the lives of my students and co-workers.  Yet, I cannot be present to the needs of my students if I am planning how their futures could be, or even what class time could be. As much as I would like to shake some of my kids awake I cannot they must, to a great extent, do that for themselves. If I am thinking and dreaming for them then I am not present to them in their current circumstances, and I so very much need to be present with them!  Presence and empathy with those I minister to is of crucial importance since, to paraphrase Lilla Watson, my future and liberation is bound up with these kids in a way which remains ineffable to me because even as I know this connection to be true and influential I also know that come April I will move on in my journey and most likely never see or hear from them again. My connection with my students is changing me in quiet and subtle ways, and I have learned so much from this experience.

At Mercy High I’ve seen that I can become more present to those around me by simply knowing and living into the reality that being empathetic will not drain me.  This is not to say that empathy does not have a cost, but rather that I will not be used up in the process- like a tube of toothpaste which can never be refilled.  In empathy I can meet the challenge to let go of old things I’ve held onto for too long so that there will be enough room for everyone, and simultaneously I can receive the gifts of others which I previously had no room for.

Previous Older Entries